Let’s form an Olympics committee

If the insanely optimistic mayor of Birmingham thinks he can bring the 2020 Summer Olympics to Birmingham, I don’t see why Hartselle can’t capture the Winter Olympics.

“Why winter games in the Deep South?” you might ask.

Because the chance of a massive snowstorm hitting Hartselle at the precise time of the Olympics is as good as Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford’s odds.

In case you missed it, Langford — who announces an idea a minute — recently named 22 people to a committee to try and get the games.

“A lot of this doesn’t require money,” the mayor told The Birmingham News. “It requires volunteers with something between their ears called a brain.”

Hmmmm.

Something called a brain ... something called a brain.

That might also be a good requirement for a mayor.

Chicago is spending $50 million on its bid for the 2016 games, which means an Olympics bid from Birmingham would be expensive.

If Birmingham comes up short, maybe Langford can ask his old sidekicks on the bankrupt Jefferson County Commission to contribute.

If a city the size of Birmingham struggles with financing, you might wonder how Hartselle, with a 12,000 population, could set aside millions of dollars for a Winter Olympics bid.

Well don’t forget about tax money from the new Lowe’s and Captain D’s. And the Arby’s that’s coming to U.S. 31 has me thinking big beefy tax dollars.

You naysayers and anti-ballyhooers out there might wonder where the Olympics folks would build a ski slope in south Morgan County.

Have you ever driven down Hartselle Mountain on an icy day before the state spreads sand on the highway?

It’s the perfect spot.

They wouldn’t even have to disrupt traffic.

They could convert the grassy median into the downhill slalom, using Bradford pear trees in place of flags.

No need for a ski lift, either. The athletes could hitch a ride back to the top of the mountain with local people driving home from work.

The ski jumpers could use the same slope to fly over Flint Creek when they get to the bottom of the mountain. All the duckweed should be gone by then.

Spectators could park at the boat launch and warm up with a hot toddy from Big A first-chance package store.

As you can tell I have invested a great deal of thought into this.

Now it’s time to form a committee.